AF Space

Changes in one year...

2009-09-03T07:33:00.000-07:00

Its over year that i havent written anything on my blog...so i thought i should write something..

Many changes have taken place during this past one year...
My MIL expired....and my husband has gone to work in Bahrain...im alone taking care of my son
In fact im alone taking care of everything....every small thing ,every big thing...

Life has become very lonely ... it seems like im not living life,im just fulfilling my responsibilities...

LISTEN...

2008-04-07T04:13:00.000-07:00

Thank you for always being there,
To listen and understand me.
I appreciate all you did for me,
And all you still do.

Thank you for making me feel whole again,
For putting my pieces back together.
I appreciate you putting my life back together,
You saved my life.

You may not understand,
Why I do what I do.
But you never criticized,
You just helped my through.

I knew I could come to you when I was down,
'cause I knew you'd always be there
to pick me back up and say everything will be ok...
( By Becky. )

Ps : dedicated to my husband.

MASOOM.

2008-02-28T11:34:00.000-08:00

Got the lyrics of this beautiful song from the movie Masoom...!
Ps: These lyrics dont mean that im in a bad mood or something like that...it just one of my favourites..!

tujh se naaraaz naheen zindagee hairaan hoo main
tere maasoom sawaalon se pareshaan hoo main
jeene ke liye sochaa hee nahee dard sambhaalane honge
muskuraye to, muskuraane ke karz utaarane honge
muskuraoo kabhee to lagataa hai jaise hothhon pe, karz rakhaa hain
tujh se naaraaz ...
aaj agar bhar aayee hai boonde baras jaayegee
kal kyaa pataa in ke liye aankhe taras jaayegee
jaane kab gum huaa, kahaa khoyaa yek aansoo, chhupaa ke rakhaa thaa
tujh se naaraaz ...

Motivation..A New Begining..!

2008-02-19T11:43:00.000-08:00

The whole world's broke .. and it ain't worth fixing.

It's time to start all over....Make a new beginning.

There's too much fighting - too little understanding.

It's time to stop and start all over....

Make a new beginning....!

VALENTINES DAY..!

2008-02-13T10:34:00.000-08:00

LOVE is not when someone holds ur hand when thousands are with u....
But it is the TRUST which holds ur hand when thousands are against u... !!

Recipe For Two Lovers
Take happiness and laughter

mix thoroughly with romance Add hugs,n sprinkle with kisses.Bind with pleasure n bake with faithsevre with endless love...!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY !!

CHANGED TEMPLATE AND PROFILE....

2008-02-10T22:31:00.001-08:00

Hmmm.....finally changed my blog template..! did it on my own! no help from anyone....the previous one was also good...but i had got bored of seeing the same things for such a long time...cso thought change was needed...and here i am...! happy with myself!!

BE WHAT U WANT TO BE....!

2008-02-01T14:09:00.000-08:00

(I read this while browsing...and found it intresting...)

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case...ok"

Next Day Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"

This is how business is done!!
Moral: Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything..

WELL SAID...!

2008-01-22T14:31:00.000-08:00

"Our first and last love is.. SELF-LOVE!!"

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2008-01-01T12:17:00.000-08:00

All GOOD THINGS come to an end....

Only to give way to the better!

As we say GOODBYE to the passing year...

And welcome the NEW..!

May this NEW YEAR bring promises

of BRIGHTER AND HAPPIER times for u!!!.....HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!

moments CAPTURED !!!

2007-04-02T04:30:00.000-07:00

Hisham trying to walk with support....he is very happy with his new found independent mobility!!!

Talking to his "girl friend" on phone...perhaps fixing up a date...hehe!!...he has his mom's purse round his neck to take care of the expenses anywayz!!!!...also teaching us how to hold the receiver of the Phone upside-down!! can hear better ...u c!

Busy surverying the fridge to check the stocks!!....u just open the fridge and he comes crawling as fast as he can from where ever he is...!

Merry in the Kitchen ....the little chef is preparing to lay out plates on the table!!!

Making a mess on the dining table....Riyaz made a clown out of him...sticking a flower on his temple and making a cap for him with the vessel lid!!

uhmmm....the closet seems to be of great interest to him...he spends lots of time...undoing the well folded clothes...!

Below the wash basin...thinking "oh God! why is thing so high!!

There are many more things which Hisham keeps doing all day...i wanted to capture them all....but some things happen so spontaneously...i cant be carrying the camera with me all the time...hehe!!

For instance...just day before yesterday....i had just turned my head after changing Hishams daiper and throwing it in the dust bin.....and when i saw him again what was he doing???.....sitting with all garbage over and around him....and what else???.....he had the Daiper which i had just discarded in his mouth....yukkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!....luckily i had folded the dirty thing well enough!!!hehe!!.....i should have taken a snap of that moment....so that i could show it to Hisham's grand children in future!!!...hahaaaa!!!!

Updates!

2007-03-22T03:36:00.000-07:00

Day before yesterday thought of taking up CNS but Hisham kept me busy during the day and Riyaz did not allow me to sit up late in the night….had an argument with him about this before sleeping…had to leave CNS half done…

Yesterday took CVS,thought if this is done then I’ll finish GIT and Renal system also cuz these are small topics….but going into the depth of CVS was taking a lot of time….so started doing just the previous papers…finished GIT before slleping…today morning took Renal….At this pace I wont achieve anything…im sure…but still I’l try…better than wasting time the whole day….

Hisham’s activities are increasing day by day…he has become a full time paas.Entertains everyone- any visitor who comes home,any person on the roads when we go out,all salesmen n salesgirls in shopping malls….he smiles and ‘patoafies’ everyone!...but touch his chubby cheeks and he will start screaming…he hates people touching his cheeks!
He is crawing all over the house,previously he never used to enter the kitchen(the coirmat in front of the kitchen door ,I guess irritated him…so he used to stop there)…but now…he is everywhere….

The Water dispensor is something which fascinates him the most…as the finger trickles down his hands he enjoys!! Laughs n laughs!..im changing his clothes three four times in a day! ...the lil chap has his own likes and dislikes!

The best is Ather bhaiya(riyaz’ relative who stays with us)…plays race in crawling with him….as soon as ather bhaiya says ‘first-first’ Hisham takes his position and starts crawling,laughing to his might!!
He has learn to clap his hands…and when I say ‘give me five hishaam’ he raises his hand n places it in my hand…he imitates us when we do’aa chuchu yaha baith,dana kha, pani pi’…when he is doing some mischief and i stop him by saying " NO Hishaam" he starts swaying his head from side to side as if he himself is saying NO,NO hehe!!!....if he is not in mood to eat cerelac he just starts swaying his head 'NO.NO'....he looks very cute…my darling baby!

Now a days he is moving about the furniture with support…and is practicing to stand without support.It was 1 o’clock in the night of 11th march when he first stood without support…he was very proud of himself after doing so!! I immediately rang up my mom and told her that hisham is standing without support…she laughed and bleed him and said ‘tum hi nazar lagate rehte usko’ ...

Aaah! and how can i forget to mention his kisses!!...whenever my sweet cuddly baby is in full mood,excited over something,or just happy....he generously loads u with his gummy kisses!...there is no particular place for his kisses...they can fall anywhere....your nose,forehead,hair,mouth...anywhere!!!...this act of expressing his love is so cute that you forget the pools of his sticky saliva all over you!!...hehe!!!....love u shonuuu!love u junnuu! love you munnuuuu!!!!...ummmmmuh!

So with this All Time Entertainment…do I sit with books and miss these cute activities….NAH!!!!!

2007-03-13T01:17:00.000-07:00

Had a nice day yesterday…domestic …but still cool ….tensionfree,hasslefree…

Got up in the morning….maid hadn’t turned up….prepared a quick breakfast for hubby,packed his lunchbox…he becomes extra affectionate whenever I have to make breakfast ect ..for him….such hai yaar-‘A mans way to heart is through his stomach’…hehe! …waved him bye…

Made a detailed breakfast for myself and my MIL…by then my baby awoke….now-a-days he has started fighting like sounds if he doesnt find his parents on waking up….so gave him hug…tried to cheer him….gave him a bath(have marveled in this field now!!!)
….fed him –banana mashed in milk…

Then he was busy with his playful ,inquisitive activities…Didn’t have to make lunch…SIL had sent lunch and it was sufficient enough to serve for dinner too...wow! what a relief !!!

Then logged in …. Had to return a few things to 'someone'….had this in my mind since long....it seemed as though I had a grrrrreat responsibility on my shoulders (let me mention- my tender shoulders..hehe!!)
Even while returning these things,I tried to be somewhat bitchy and vampish…hehe!!!...
I do not say that the 'person' was particulary fond of me or may be dint like me from the beginning itself…but to know it myself ….for sure that im being hated by that 'particular person' ….feels relaxing,somewhat……
But one thing yaar….i really wonder….when the person has soooooooooooo many other friends of same gender as me….and is constantly in touch with them all….then why was the ban imposed only on me???....may be im very dangerous….hehe!!...am i??....people who meet me,know me in person tell me that im a very mild kind of creature….is it all false??...
was it right that my baby was cursed….and when I just pretended to curse ‘the persons’ would be kids…I annoyed ‘the person’ enormously…no one ever cared to understand how I felt when my newborn was cursed ….reason behind the curse-I was being an enthusiastic new mom and was sharing my baby’s developments with someone I felt was my friend….but even my occasional smses were misunderstood(my smses were being ignored since feb….i had asked the reason in between….reply was ‘no reason’….how was I to understand that ignoring my sms post 18thjuly was something different….how was I to understand that this time it had a reason….i wanst told ,I had been irritating!!!)….my baby cursed,and I was made to feel like a big outlaw…

anyways…yesterday I have severed even the last few strings of the relation that had begun to take an ugly shape …though silent…now –hate me as best as u can for the rest of ur life….curse me ,not my child…

The evening was pleasant….hubby noticed that I was a little put off when he returned….he asked me if it was PMS…I said ‘no’….so he said ‘u are upset about something…its clear….lets go out for shopping.or just an outing’….i wanst in mood….but he insisted “ u wanted to shop for footwear since so many days,u haven t been to ur beautician also….lets do that,plus we will see what else we can do”.I got ready reluctantly…and we went…and must say….sudden ,undecided outings are much much better than the ones whish are previously planned.We had a nice time ….shopped footwear for myself and hisham,and took one bag for Riyaz…had dinner out….sat ,and played with Hisham at tankbund till midnight…then returned…and …
It was a good day after all…..with my family….with my tensions finished…wow!!! hahahaaa!!!

Finally!

2007-03-07T10:00:00.000-08:00

Finally...did it!...6th March 2007.

"Go Away!"

This was something i needed to hear.My mind wouldnt agree on anything less than this....and i finally got to hear this...

I have been very rude,very impolite,very harsh.....abused,cursed,threatened,blackmailed....hurt someones emotions IMMENSELY....TORTURED,TORMENTED someones feelings....whatever possible i could do to make myself hear these words....i have done...

i have done it for my own sake...i did not mean any of the abuses or the curses

i had no rights to be so selfish....but i did it...somehow, i did it cuz i feel that living with someones hatred is much easier....so....i have invited hatred....hate me as best as u can....

yes,i had been a hard nut to crack

My six month old baby!!!

2007-01-31T06:07:00.000-08:00

Days are just flying...Hisham is now six months old!!

my dear sweet little prince!!

love u beta!!

U have made my life beautiful my dear baby!!

I'm on my Way, Away

2006-10-04T12:20:00.000-07:00

I know you love me
but I don't see you coming,
so I'll come to you;
I'm on my way.

I see you standing there;
so close but still barely out of reach;
I need to be closer to you, so
I'm on my way.

I know your kiss;
still remember tasting it on my lips;
oh how much I want that again;
Im on my way.

I hear your voice;
how perfect it sounds;
it is drawing me nearer;
I'm on my way.

I smell your cologne,
it just makes me melt;
even though I'm on my knees,
I'm on my way.

I can still feel your arms,
you swallowing me with one hug;
I'd die to feel them around me again;
I'm on my way.

I see you again, but hear someone else's voice;
I can smell a different perfume, and I feel the tears coming;
I turn away and one rolls down, I taste it on my lips;
I'm on my way, away.

I don't have to be able to touch you,
but please don't abandon me;
I guess if we can-t be friends I'm leaving;
I'm on my way, away.

I've moved up wind away from you;
I cant smell your sweet scent anymore;
I still have my back to you; I'm leaving;
I'm on my way, away.

She has probably dropped you;
I hear you calling;
I wanna leave you but I can't, so baby
I'm on my way.

Only a moment until I can taste your kiss;
I can still only see you,
yet I already taste happiness;
I'm on my way.

I see you smile at me,
for a moment everything is right;
Then I see her coming back so I walk off,
I'm on my way, away.

It's hurt me so bad, leaving the first time, coming back, and leaving again;
I don't want to look at you, or hear your perfect voice;
I'm leaving you, and hopefully never coming back;
I'm on my way, away.

I know I'll get better; time heals all wounds;
but how long is it gonna take?
I'll never forget you completely but know that
I'm on my way, away.

MY BABY!!

2006-08-05T01:11:00.000-07:00

HISHAM..we named him.He came into this world on 13th july...to fill our lives with joy.

He is so tiny miny...small small,delicate,chubby ,soft-soft,pink -pink....just cant believe that he was the one who had been giving me all those kicks!!!...hehe!

THANK U GOD once gain...for Hisham.Hope we be good parents to him...and hope he has a good life.!

oops....kicks!!

2006-04-03T03:49:00.000-07:00

yesterday...2 April 2006 has been very special for me,my sweetheart hubby...and our baby!!

I have been perceiving my baby's movements since couple of month now...but now those little taps have changed into little kicks!!...
and my would be baby is usually more active when i want to rest...when ever it would kick...I would tell my hubby ,and he would quickly keep his hand over my tummy ,leaving behind all work he would be doing...hoping to feel the baby's kicks..!!,,hehe!!

But he never could feel...the baby would become silent by then...and the poor would be dad...would make a long face ...disappointed...hehe!

I would try to pacify him ...saying ..."our baby likes to play HIDE N SEEK with u,sweetheart,thats why he hides inside mommy when u try to catch it"..hehe!!

YESTERDAY night...as soon as i lay down ...the baby started its activity....I quickly but gently placed my hubby's hands on my tummmy....AND HE FELT THE BABY!!!...

My dear was sooooo happy,excited and thrilled to feel his baby....he placed his ears now to feel and hear better(leaving me uncomforatble with his heavy head on me)....so i asked him to move....but the baby' dad was not still satisfied,he again [laced his hand on me...and baby was also responding to his dad so well...both played like this till 1o'clock in the night....

its was so nice.... such a wonderful feeling....seeing my partner play with the would be baby....*touchwood*...THANK U GOD!

Would b baby BLUES!..WHAT DO I DO!!

2006-03-13T22:35:00.000-08:00

The other day we had a departmental meeting,after the meeting i was chatting with a collegue of mine(mother of 3 kids)

She asked me " which month now(of pregnancy)"
I said " Sixth month has just started "
She gave me astonished looks and expressions and said " You dont look like you are gonna start 6th month na "..seeing directly at my tummy...!
I tried to make excuses and said " nahi ,nahi,aisa nahi hai...i'm wearing a loose coat na today,may be thats the reason its not obvious "
But she wasnt conviced with my explaination ,gave me a dissatisfied look and said " Noo!....even then ,u dont look like..."
Finally i asked her what should do to..look like
She said " EAT!! "....ok,okkk...

The other day i saw Hritik Roshan's wife' pic in the news paper(i think she is in her 8th month)...her tummy is really sooo big...i wonder what the lady is eating...hehee!!

Again yesterday my sister in law had visited her...thank God she was cautious enough not to stare directly at my tummy,but she did notice it..
Thats the reason she said " U dont seem to have put on weight,the way you should have by now...tell me did your weight increase in the last check up? "
I said " No "(infact it had decreased a lil last month,but i didnt tell her)
She said "EAT..everything,dont bother about weight gain now,you will reduce after delivery..but now EAT every now and then.

This did not end there...my sweet SIL then said " the new born will be FAIR if u EAT plenty of Pomogranates and Apples "
To this my dear MIL also made her contribution and added " baby will be fair if u DRINK milk Kesar(Saffron) "...ok,okkk...

NOW, how do i explain to my dear dear people that beacuase this is my first pregnancy ,the tone of my abdominal muscle will be very good and thats the reason my tummy is not sooo visible as of now...it will become obvious in the later months of pregnancy!! what do i do to make my self..LOOK LIKE PREGNANT!!

AND...colour of the baby will be depend on the genes genes he inherits!!!...THANK GOD!!they did not ask me to apply FAIR N LOVELY on my tummy saying that it would penetrate my skin,uterine wall etc and show its effect on the baby...heheee!!!

BUT....whats so wrong even if my baby is born dark chocolate coloured..BIG DEAL??!!....it still remains mine!!

My mommy dear is nitting a sweater for the baby...shoo shweet!!( though i didnt like the colour of the wool she has chosen)and my MIL has asked me not to scratch my tummy even if i feel itchy or else it will give me ugly strech n scratch marks...This is a good sweet advice!

Anyways......HAPPY HOLI TO ALL MY FRIENDS!!!....ENJOY!!!!

Feeling Better!!

2006-03-07T04:18:00.000-08:00

(one of the Medical Representatives gave me small booklet by name “Choti choti baatien”…I liked a few things in there…thought of posting one of them…)

** When you are feeling down,
Focus your thoughts on this question.
What can you do that would help you feel better?
Instead of filling your mind with doubt,self pity,resentment,regret and despair,
Fill it with thoughts and plans for moving positively forward.

There is something that will take your focus off, of whatever has already happened and direct your thoughts firmly towards the best of what can be.

Pay no attention to how you’re supposed to feel or how you’re expected to feel.
Decide for yourself how good you would like to feel,and then take the steps that will get you there.
It will likely be much easier than you think.
For once you choose to feel better,
It quickly begins to happen.
It sounds too simple to be true,yet it works with surprising and delightful effectiveness.
When you decide to help yourself feel better,you will.

What can you do that will help you feel better?
You’re just a moment away from making it happen!! **

LONG BREAK!!

2006-02-19T00:16:00.000-08:00

Writing the blog after soooo many days…all this while have been missing my blog,and all my blog friends..and now that iam writing ,I don’t know how to start again…hehe!!
Okkk..i’ll just highlight few things that have happened since my last post…these r not in an order just penning down what ever is coming in my mind first…

*Highlights*

- Mom and Dad have returned from my bhaiya’s place…when they were leaiving India I was thinking that I couldn’t live without them for two months…but thanks to my lovely inlaws and my friends…I didn’t feel their absence much…two months just flewoff …mom n dad r again here in Hyderabad,beside me when ever I need them…

- My Bhaiya has been blessed with a cute baby boy.We named him Zuhair.I liked my new nephew so much that I see his pic almost 5-6 times daily ..hoping to give Zuhair a cousin as cute as him!!…hehee!!

- Enjoyed a lottttt with my guest…this bhabi had two kids and they were a good timepaas…The younger one (1an 1/2 yrs old),was so cute ,naughty and lovable…he kept us all busy with his activities….very fond of ball,balloons , learning to talk …made us laugh with his baby talk….i had become so attached with this family….cried a lot when they were leaving yesterday..

- Have gone for my checkups regularly…and have gained 2kgs weights till now…
Everyone at home wants me to change my Gynaecologist now….I was seeing Dr.Padma’latha till now…but she doesn’t have her own nursing home…so my people want me to visit Fernandez Hospital(a renowed one here)for this months checkup…changing the doctor has made me more superstitious…somehow…I had begun to feel very safe in Dr.Latha hands….anyways…have to change..

- Have cancelled my plan of appearing for Plab…I could prepare…and without any preparation I don’t want to go all the way to Mumbai …to have a practice of taking an exam again…am sad about it…but I could do much about it….i started sitting in the library after my job for studying….but my inlaws and parents were feeling that I am being careless and straining myself too much…so finish…that ends it there

- 14 th Feb this was my first time I celebrated Valentines Day!!…last year my hubby wasn’t in India…the whole day he was with me only…he had post duty off that day…..accompanied me to my hospital also and sat in the library there.Later in the evening we went to Lumbini Park,did boating there…then had dinner …BUT…..i had one of the pregnancy mood swings that day…..i don’t understand why I was off that day…he did so many things for me …but I just didn’t enjoy it that day….made his day also miserable…then next day…when I thought about it…felt very guilty,and apologized.

These pregnancy mood swing r really verrrry bad….in one such state of off mood I had begun to dislike this baby in my womb…just started feeling that I don’t want to live,I want to end my life ,wanted to run away to some place where no one recognizes me and this baby seemed like a burden,because of which I had to live…then later realized that it’s a sin…God please Forgive me for letting these stupid thoughts enter my mind…Sorry God..

- 4 kittens had made entry into our home…Actually theirs is a sad strory…the mom cat was killed by a street dog…may be in a fight to protect her kittens…so these orphan kitten came over here….we were giving them milk ..since no ne was there to feed them and protect them…but I am so scared of cats that I didn’t even touch them once…and would be jumping when ever they passed from near me….Now only one is remaining(this one also remains out usually just come for milk)….two of them were stolen…and our maid took away the third one cuz she has many rats in her home…!

- Have Gone to the Annual Exhibition here in hyd 4 times…I like going to the exhibition!!!..still like the swings,magic shows,stalls from all over India,the Dogs show,Mouth ka kuwa..etc etc..

Have seen the Nizams Jewels…...wow!!!! …amazing collection…great riches!!..i think ladies those days really dint have much work….just getting decked up from head to toe….but must say….wow!! wow!!

Have seen two movies-Rang de Basanti and The Angrez...liked both of them...Rang de Basanti is too good!

- Received fone call twice from Geo, and thankfully have been in regular touch with him…the first time he called…I was on my way back home and could hardly hear him…the second time,it was very clear…and dear Geo…U have a very mature masculine mota mota voice….hehe!!

- chatted with Jithu once.My dear friend Sujit has been sending offlines…he is now in US …May God bless him with all success..Another very close friend of mine Maseer has left for US…he too was a gem pal!

- and TODAY is Mitesh’s Engagement…he is getting engaged to Dimple…Iam soooo happy for my sweet friend…may u both make a wonderful couple together….the party might be going on right now,and they might all be dancing…I miss it so much…no problem.., u dance in mumbai and I’ll dance for u both here in Hyderabad….AJA WE MAAHI LETS DO BALLE!! BALLE!!….hehee!!....Congrates dear!!!!

Another best MOMENT..!!

2005-12-28T05:58:00.000-08:00

few days back i had posted about the best moments in my life....i add another one to the list :

Had gone for the sonography yesterday(first time after the goodnews)....and i saw the image of MY BABY...i saw its heart beating...i asked the doctor if i could hear the fetal heart sound and she said yes...my hubby was also called into the scan room...and we heard the heartbeat!!!...GODDD!!!...iv heard the fetal heartbeat so many times in my gynaecology posting...then y did this sound so different..so wonderful..!!!! i still am not able to get the lub-dub,lub-dub,lub-dub.lub-dub out of my ears...GOD,I LOVE U SO MUCH!! please keep my baby safe and healthy...PLEASE.PLEASE...my eyes r getting filled as iam typing this...GOD ! please be kind ...GODDD!

And guess what the Expected date of delivery according to the scan is....its 18th of July....that's the day of my marriage too....hehehe!!!

*HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!*

CELEBRATION TIME!!!

2005-12-23T09:15:00.000-08:00

Wish u all a a MERRY CHRITMAS filled with Lords blessings,peace and joy and a VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!!!!! ENJOY!!!
(Wishing all my friends in advance cuz i have night duty tomorrow...)

Again!!

2005-12-20T05:21:00.000-08:00

i again forgot to switch off the hot water geyser today!!
This is the third time in this month that i have repeated this mistake ....
today it was on for 4 hours....a lilltle less compared to last time when it was switched on from evening to midnight...hubby asked me "oyee bacha!geyser apne on kiya tha?" and i silently nodded yes ...guilty!

DNB vs. ME…

2005-12-12T06:17:00.000-08:00

I had the DNB entrance Exam yesterday… and must say ….what a horrible experience!”

I hardly was prepared for the entrance though I knew the dates since a long time….its my stupidity and laziness….
I read only for a week that too not seriously….Actually on Saturday I was telling my husband that I will not write the exam with such meagre preparations..but he did not listen to me ,was adamant and told me “nothing doing ,u have to go.Just go and attempt atleast,u will have exam experience”….so there was nothing more I could do but try to grab as much as possible in my minute grey cells…at the last moment..

The exam had two sessions…I went for the morning session….took the question paper and the answer sheet and sat their miserably for 3 hours…..first of all I didn’t know the answer for most of the questions and on top of that I had such morning sickness(may be it was aggravated more because of the sleepless night I had on Saturday)….at one point of time the nausea was so unbearable that I thought I will leave the hall taking permission….anyways I had sit there because I knew we were not permitted to leave the hall before time….so,I sat ….gulping the water brash that filled my mouth every now n then….mean while trying to read the questions and answer…and to tell u the truth I marked answers for most of the questions doing “in pin safety pin ,in- pin- out!!”….cuz there was no negative marking for the wrong answers …so on whichever option my finger would stop with the “in pin” I would mark that option as the answer…..hehe!!…what to do, a person so unprepared like me has no other way!!! I remembered the days of my past when I used to study so hard ….study for long hours till mom shouted at me and asked me to close my books and sleep for sometime…I used to be so well prepared for all the exams…..is this the same me??I wonder…

Anyways…this was DNB……I still have PLAB….which is in March… And I have to do very well in PLAB…cuz if I don’t …then my validity for IETLS(English exam)which is only for 2 years will end ….and I will have to appear for IELTS again if I want to give PLAB a second chance…
March which seemed to be so faaaaaaar away suddenly has come so close…its only two and half months from now….and I have sooooo much to study…..and we will be having guest at home for the next two month….And my hubby who wants to stick to me all the time he is at home(now-a –days iam calling him fevicol...heheee!!) he doesnt want me to do anything butjust sit with him and do”time paas”...hehee!!.. PLUS this nausea and my job!….todays headlines in the news paper read- ‘Lure of job derails further studies in young college graduates’ so true it is….i shouldn’t have taken up the job soon after my internship instead should have concentrated on studies…..

Oh God!!!….show me just one tiny miny hole through which I can escape all these situations.

Prayer time ::(his is school times prayer song I could remember just the last part of it)
“Showers of blessings..
Showers of blessings we need,
Mercy drops round us are falling ….
But for the showers we plead….”

i wish I could just skip this period in my life…I wish when I open my eyes tomorrow morning I get a PG degree with my name written on it in front of me…hehe!!
But then…”no gains without pains!!”

SMILE...

2005-12-06T21:17:00.000-08:00

dint know what to write(cuz if i start writng i'll write only about ONE thing ..hehe!!!!..and i dint want to do that)...so thought of posting these poems on SMILE...which i had read few days back...

1) SMILE..

Life is a mixture of sunshine and rain
Laughter and pleasure,teardrops and pain.

All days cant be bright,but its certainly true,
They was never a cloud the sun didn’t shine through.

So,just keep on smiling whatever betides you,
Secure in the knowledge God is always besides you.

And you wil find that when you smile,your day will be brighter,
And all your burdens will seem so much lighter.

For,each time you smile,you will find its true,
Somebody ,somewhere smiles back to you.

2)I LOVE UR SMILE !

I love to see your smile,
That will make my life worthwhile.

Bigger and bigger your smile should grow,
Brighter the light of my life will glow.

Whatever sufferings I have to bear,
I’ll do it for you ,I swear!!

Through endless days your smile should gleam,
That is my life time dream.

Tears and pearls that should not be lost,
I’ll take care of your sorrows at my cost.

When ever you feel a little blue,
And nothing on earth can make life more worthwhile,
Than the sunshine and warmth of a beautiful SMILE…!!!
Count on my love which is only for you..!!

Thats all for today..!!

THANK U GOD !!

2005-11-29T09:33:00.000-08:00

I am going to be a mom sooooon(after few months)!!!! Iam so happy,trilled,exhilarated…(all the words in the dictionary which mean overjoyed) !
Everyone at home is so happy!

THANK U GOD!!!…….THANK U VERY MUCH…..I LOVE U!!

But iam scared too….what if something like last time happens…
Please pray for me….that everything should be fine and normal from the beginning to the end….and that I have a healthy baby…..please I need ur good wishes…..pray for me!!!

DOOORdarshan…

2005-11-25T08:20:00.000-08:00

My hubby suddenly enters the room and while switing the lights on ,sings in a childish tone…”.jab mai chota baccha tha..,badi sharrtat karta tha…meri chori pakdi jaati…Ab mai bilkul boodha hu,..goli kha kar jeeta hu…phir roshni deta Bajaj!!”

Then he asked me “u remember this ad from chidhood days”…and we started laughing..

This made me remember the schooldays…and the Commercial Ads and Serials on the ‘only one channel then’…apna DOORDARSHAN…DD1…..ye hai national channel… aur ap dekh rahe hai Doordarshan !!
The only few ads I could remember were:

- “Shilpa Char chaand lagaye…SHILPA BINDI”

- The ad of PAAN PARAG ….(it comes even now but in those days the one with Ashok Kumar and a tallllllll person used to come..)
tall man asking ashok kumar-aur mere liye??
Ashok Kumar replies back – apke liye ye hai na(showing the looooong strip of Paan Parag….followed by the song…..”paan parag…paan masala..paan parag”!!…hehehe!!!

-The ad for milk- Doodh doodh doodh doodh …garmi may daalo doodh may ice ,doodh ban gaya very nice….piyo daily once or twice….mil jaiga tasty surprise”

with the ad for milk I remember the ad for eggs – Sunday khana ,Monday khana...roz
ande khana…andeeehee!!

Then coming to the serials from those days that flashed into my mind::
the great detective serial – KARAMCHAND….with detective Karamchand eating a carrot all the time….and it would always end with karamchand’s secretary telling him…Sir u r a genious!

Then wedneddays…we would wait for 8 pm …..for the famous music serial CHITRAHAAR…later I think it was changed to Sunday..

Thursdays- the regional music serial-Chitralahari(telugu songs).

Sundays were the days when we would wake up only when we could here the sound of the cartoon serial –HE-MAN…THE POWER OF THE UNIVERSE!!..He-man would always shout I got the power!!(later many cartoon started coming ,but I don’t know y I remember this one in particular)….He man would be followed by Ramayan…later Mahabharat….the sword of Tipu Sultan…
One more Sunday serial about which I barely remember (it was I think when I was in primary school)…I just remember the song “RAJANI RAJANI !!”

Later the Sunday morning slot for cartoon was replaced with the serial CHANDRAKANTA….and its title song was Chandra kanta ki kahani ye man hai purani…ye purani ho kar bhi badi lagti hai suhani…
Then Sunday would be day for watching Hindi movie on tv

Well ……these were the ads and serials I could remember…some memories r so faded …I can barely remember them….TV during school days!!…but really at that time that one channel Doordarshan was only sufficient to facinate us…now a days….more the channel more the confusion about what to see…and ending up seeing nothing in particular…

CPR in a case of LOVE –ATTACK!!!

2005-11-21T05:15:00.000-08:00

Yesterday…Sunday….supposed to be a Fun-day ….but I had duty ….a NITE DUTY!!!(went yesterday at 9.30 am and returned today at 3 pm).But luckily it was not so busy…so I had time to study …and the topic I read was “CARDIO-PULMONARY RESUSCITATION (CPR)……end-of-life care in cases of drowning,hypothermia,cardiac failure etc..I had just one page more to read that these weird thoughts started creeping in my mind…hehe!!…how would we do a CPR if someone has a LOVE-ATTACK or a LOVE CANCER!!!

Observations and protocol would be::
B.P – Not recordable .(cuz my heart beats for someone else now.,and is not ready to function for me..!!)
Pulse – Not felt. ( my heart pumps blood for someone else now!!)
Body Temperature – Hotttt !
Pupils - Dilated and not reacting to light( cuz my eyes want a full vision of my sweet heart without even a blink..!!!)

Now CPR done according to ACLS protocol ( read LOVE NORMS!…. cardiac massage,Inj.
Adrenaline,Atropin ,oxygen etc are replaced by kisses,smooches and hugsss!! )

Patient declared deadly in LOVE at 11.30 am

Signature of Certifying doctor.

Heeheeee!

(being recently married crazy thoughts like these I guess r normal and PARDONABLE….i know CPR is a very serious , important and life saving thing,I don’t intend to make fun of it…I just wrote about my stupid imagination! )

ok….i was just thinking about this when I got an SMS from my freind Roxy..it was::

Please can u lend me 2000 Rupees..
I will return it day after tomorrow..
I need it badly….
Please help me out..
I know u have it..PLZZZ…

SARDAR TALKS TO AN ATM MACHINE!!!!

Heheehe!!!!! These ghisse peethe age old sardar jokes r never OUT !! If not a great laugh they still sure leave u with a smile!!

I....Me....Myself !!

2005-11-16T03:08:00.000-08:00

Had been tagged by JithU…so here I go describing myself in 20 points-

1) I am my parents youngest daughter and the eldest daughter- in- law of my parent inlaws.I was pampered a lot at my moms place ,I was almost a tomboy as a child,always used to do everything my brothers would do…eat ,,play,climb trees ,run over walls,dress up like them.Now I have metamorphosed into a fine lady,but am still pampered over here in my inlaws home.

2) I am a doctor by profession and I love the decency,dignity and responsibity of my profession.I want to be highly educated(but iam not working hard for it. :-(..).I like people who r serious about and dedicated to their work…..at the same time I like to be lazy at times…I can spend a whole day sitting in front of the idiot box or laying in bed doing practically nothing,..hehe!

3) As a child I was very fussy and big ‘chor’ in eating.Feeding me would be a big task for my mom..(I remember that I used to hide roties in the remote corner of the house ,behind clothes in cupboards etc…and when mom used to clean the
house or tracing the line of ants she would reach my hiding place..i would have it BIGGG from her.I also used to stuff the breakfast in my mouth just before leaving and once out of our home I would voluntarily vomit out everything.)…But now my eating habits have changed for the better.I eat anything ,anytime…but in small
quantity.I like to taste different kinds of recipes…I am unconcerned about my weight( it hasn’t changed since years,cuz my running around in the hospital takes
care of it)…but one fact of my life (which I regret ) is…whatever I eat first goes
to my cheeks and the remaining thing is for the rest of the body…that’s the reason I still have my childhood cheeks…uhuhu!! :-(

4) It takes time for me to open up with people.I cant be chirpy from the first meeting itself, I prefer to be a listener at first..I am not a person who brings life into a social gathering.Only people who know me well know how talkative and naughty and wild I can be.

5) I like to have many friends.Even if I don’t talk for hours with anyone I like to have atleeeast a “Hi-Hello” kinda talk with all the people I know. I don’t like it when someone is pissed off and I am the reason behind their off mood. I don’t hesitate to say a sorry to anyone to bring back relations on track.

6) Music…..i feel is a great Anti-stress agent. My kind of music depends on my mood. Music helps me to relax and get rid of tensions..

7) I am scared to announce any Bollywood Actor as my favourite…Cuz I’ve noticed that when ever I say that I like some hero…his downfall begins,or that person doesn’t comeup at all…hehe!!! .I started liking Salman Khan …but then he started losing hair and got involved in the hunting case.Then I said I like Abhishek Bachan,Fardeen Khan and Jugal Hasraj for their chocolate looks…but they r still struggling to make it big on the silver screen….haha!!!

8) I fight a lot …I mean not serious kind of fight…but fidget a lot with people I love most and people I know will be for me forever,no matter how wrong I might be…So my hit list includes :
In my family : my mom, my hubby, my brothers…particularly my eldest brother,and my cousin siddu.
Among friends : Bhavna,Sweetu, Mitesh,Aseema top the list…now-a-days,I am also including Geo in the category.

9) I have a very destructive kind of anger…though I cant remain angry for a long time …but in that short span I do things hayway…and then repent later..(getting paranoid in a flash n regaining poise the next second)

10) I am very forgetfull or say careless about certain things…like locking the cupboard before leaving for job,picking up my bangles an earrings from the bathroom ,or bedside table after bath and after a good nites sleep.My dad used to lock my cupboard before marriage now my hubby does it…hehe!

11) I love to be loved. And I am very possessive and jeolous by nature.I just cant take it when people I love show their affection for others…particularly if they use words like ‘wonderful’,’pretty’,’sweets’, ‘anything for u’..etc for others .i can be really mean at times to have all their love only for myself…:-D

12) I love to cook for my family.I like to be appreciated for my dishes(if they r really good).If someone eats something goood I made with an expressionless face..its like they r provoking the devil inside me to spoil the food the next time I make something for that person…hehe! (though I never did it in reality ,but it sure does urge me)

13) I love shopping for myself and my family n friends.i have a craze for purses,hair bands and dresses.I like Indian but trendy dressing…and many a times u can find me going through the ‘ what is in fashion and what is out” in newspapers and magazines.I feel shopping is the time when we take off our minds from baseless issues which hurt us..

14) I love to gift others…with or without any occasion.I love to make sudden Phone calls to my old friends…I like to give them the unexpected surprise ..

15) I have Allergic Rhinitis. I am allergic to dust,fumes,chemicals or any strong perfume…so whenever someone striggers the membranes of my nose with their strong perfume,my countless sneezes take the revenge.. :-D

16) At the same time , I am a very Winter Person..I love this season,and I hate summer months..just cant tolerate the sweat and itch …so I end up having bath 4-5 times a day during summer…and that leaves me sneezing again!

17) I love kids(more so between 1 yr and 3yrs)…their innocence ,playful grins,tender fingers….their tiny miny cute cute clothes,their socks …shoes ,scanty,soft,silky hair..…everything is so cute..

18) I have perfect control on my sleep (can sleep anytime and wake up whenever required) and absolutely no control over my emotions( too difficult to hide tears )

19) I admire simplicity of nature in people.I dislike over mature,clever,cunning people who show attitude and arrogance all the time…u can say I like people who r young at heart…childish,but not stupid.And for the hypocrites my only advice would be “ if u cant practice things urself ,plz don’t preach about it to others”..

20) I am very God fearing person.I like to spend some time reading holy books and offering prayers.It helps a great deal by soothing not just one’s mind but also our soul

Geo and jithU have already taken the quiz…
So now I tag – sujit,Hope and Love and Jaggu take it and help us, know u better

New Template

2005-11-13T08:11:00.000-08:00

At last i selected one template...the credit of suffering all the pains due to my many rejections and choosy nature goes to Mitesh.he has helped me a loooooooootttttttttttt...thanks a tonnn!! and i really liked it...if i dont like it again after sometime ,i will trouble u again,dont worry..hehehe!!

Thanks to Sujit also for his suggestion!

Theft,,Burglary,,Decoity!!!

2005-11-08T08:09:00.000-08:00

Today after I came back from hospital,and after my lunch and afternoon nap ,I sitched on my PC and tried to connect to the net…I got connected also …but after a short while I got the message that the LAN cable has been unplugged. I switched off the computer without giving much thought to the message thinking that after sometime the LAN(whatever on earth it means…)will get plugged.in the evening again we tried to connect ,but got the same msg…then I called up my subscriber..and lodged a complaint, he said he would look into the matter.

In the mean time one veryyyy close pal of mine called up.We r the besetest of friends ,his name is Patel but I rarely call him by his name…my name for him is Sweetu.he also helps me a lot in solving my computer related problems.We r so close that we never miss any chance of bullying and teasing each other,confident of the fact that it will not effect our friedship.So today,was supposedly his day of pulling my poor dear leg!! It was all like :

He : Hi , r u busy ,studying kya?
Me : No ,am not studying..
Mere internet ka cable kisi ne cut n chori kar liya hai(someone has cut n stolen my net cable).so I was talking to the cable wala..
He :hehehe!!….internet cable chori ho gaya!!(cable is stolen!)…hahaha!!…u lost ur most priciest possession…ab “A” kaise jiyegi ??? meaning now how will A (myself) survive??…hahaa!! !(laughs to his heart’s content)
Me : very funny ha !! uhhh!!brush ur teeth okkk..
He : y should I brush my teeth,I don’t have to kiss anyone ….hehee(still enjoying my loss)…anyways when will it get restored?(my friends internet sucks he probabaly thought mine is worse than his and may take days to get back )
Me : he said he will get it done today itself..and I said brush ur teeth so that the plaque on ur teeth and ur badbreath gets cleared..okkk! No wonder u don’t have anyone to kiss…hehehe!!
He :ok…u take care..bye
Me :bye

I went back to the living room….and was going through the newspaper headlines…when I got a call from the net subscriber asking me to check out.I did it and it was functioning normally…nowwww…it was my chance…I thought I should not waste a minute in doing my bit of teasing Sweetu…
smsed him immediately : this is to inform u that the cable connection at my place has been restored….hehehee!!! Dhinak dhin taana…sweetu ka band to baja naaa!!..hehehe(!Me singing merrily and teasing him ..)

even now am enjoying …my connection and my small victory in the teasing game with Sweetu…..TADAAA- TUN - TADDAA…hehee!!

The Cry Of Our Hearts

2005-11-05T09:52:00.000-08:00

(read this while browsing)

There is a great deal of depression that has overtaken my soul,
It floods deep within, into every inch that makes me whole.
I wonder and worry of thought throughout the day,
What is to come, to my dismay.
As a flood of tears pour out of me in all my expressions,
more and more comes, more and more depression.

I assure myself everything is ok!
But who am I fooling?
Then I burst into a spirit of rage.
I have questions, and there are answers.
But I'm afraid and much too weak,
When I try to explain,
I hear I'm hearing wrong and need to be meek.
But this is how I feel, there's no wrong or right,
But as I battle with myself, I always lose the fight.

I feel intimidated sometimes by others,
But as I said "This is how I feel"
The pain in me is very real.
I lose control, my thought go wild,
and here I am only a child.
If only you knew what I thought,
If only you knew what I fought.
I need my thoughts held captive.

Oh God, assure me I'm thinking normal
and you'll help me think positive.
I'm hurting, I need you!
Please don't give up on me!
One day I will always make you smile!
Love,
Your Child

Uhhh!! MELODY...IS, IT??

2005-10-31T09:05:00.000-08:00

Mama n papa reached bhaiya’s place safely…soon after reaching they called me up.Must say….big bro was too excited !( I’m sure not missing me..eh!)

Today again I had an urge to talk to my mom n dad (I had nothing particular to talk …but I usually get these bouts of urge…and I cant help it!)….

I picked up my mobile immediately and tried to connect to bhaiyas’s number…”based on ur current account, ur call can last a maximum of 2 mins” came the recorded msg …2mins!! that would be too less for me, I thought…R(hubby) reminded me that my BSNL India telephone card had more credit remaining, so I decided to use it, though it’s a boring long thing to do(all the time listening to the recorded instructions and stringently following them)

first message-“Welcome to the BSNL virtual card calling system,for instructions in English press one”…I did it sincerely.
Second message-“please enter the 16 digit code number”….this again I do very obediently.
Then again -“please enter the destination number”…I thought it’s the end of the process and dialed the number,,…..O God ! ..but I did it….message again in the same annoying melody --”the dialed number is incorrect,please check the number u have dialed”…I tried again…same message…I didn’t give up…tried again…and message changed and now it was “I’am sorry,ur call cannot be processed at the moment,please try again later”….i went through the long process again,4-5 times…to get the same “sweet”(arggg!!) recorded message…which seemed to irk me to hell !.

R had been noticing my frantic but fruitless efforts , sitting in his ease chair…he finally comes to help me out,(with that same taunting n notorious smile of his)…he dials the number and YO !! HOO!!!!…In the first attempt he succeeds in getting through…he gives me the receiver saying….”its ringing,talk now, sweety!”…I give him a congratulating and thanking pat on his shoulder and take the receiver ., fully charged …and I hear the ring for some time and again that “sweet “ message and this time it is “sorry ,there is no response ,please try again later”

Finally I gave up…hubby dear was kind enough to say that he would try it again…but now I was in no mood to hear the… uhhhh!!! Irritating ,recorded message in an “extra sweet vexatious melodious voice!!”….i hate it so much!!

Decided that I would fulfill my urge with the help of the naya “ hutch ka chota recharge”!!!….bought the recharge card and talked with my mom n dad,directly from my mobile ,without having to dial looong numbers ….

so true…”CHOTA RECHARGE,PURI BAAT”…Thanks Hutch! for coming to my rescue in my spell of imperative mood !!!! hehehe!!!

Rain-IN !!!

2005-10-29T02:10:00.000-07:00

Its raining so heavily and continuously here ….i hate to get drenched in rain water and I hate it most when I have to bear my feet in wet footwear…ekkss!!surprisingly the whole staff in hospital was present today...i thought ppl would take the opportunity of staying back at home and enjoying the rain from indoors! but am with ppl who say work first...good!! all i want to say now is:
"God...please help those in waterlogged places and keep them safe..Amen!"
+
*Rain rain go away,
Little ‘A’ wants to play!!!*

Thurday to Sunday...long way..

2005-10-23T06:07:00.000-07:00

Have things to update here :
Since Thursday things r not going right for me …things I don’t want to happen r happening ,people who I prefer not to bring to my thoughts ,seem to have made a permanent stay in my thoughts…ok…

Thursday….i was very excited(had some new pics)…wanted to upload them in yahoo photos and send them to my bhaiyas ,cosins and friends…but the pics wouldn’t got uploaded…I tried a lot…and in my effort in doing so,I don’t know what I did…but the keyboard stopped working…I restarted the pc…tried again ,but he keyboard lay dead…I tried again n again,several times..but no result !!..so I had to bottleup up all my excitement ,sentiments,emotions(i wanted to send them to my bro ya!),, postpone the photo sharing session and switch off the PC ..i told my hubby about it,and asked him when he would get the problem fixed and he replied “sweetheart,we’ll get it done..whats the emergency!”.My hubby doesn’t sit with the pc much and gets bored when I sit for long…so few days back he had made a rhyme for me—(substituting in the lines of Machli jal ki rani hai..jevan uska pani hai,hath lagao to dar jaigi ,panise nikalo to marr jaigi..)
....
A(my name),computer ki rani hai
Jeevan uska browsing hai,
Computer ko haath lagao to dar jaigi,
Internet na ho ,to marr jaigi..
....
*sigh*
(But then my sweetheart did it today …its not so late na!)

Friday….As soon as I woke up,the first thought that came to me is that my mom and dad will not be in hyderbad next Friday(going on a visit to my bhaiya’s place,leaving me here,all alone for two months)…and then on top of that I had night duty …I just hate doing night duties specially in Ramzan…and the nurses of the MICU and paying rooms that night, seemed to have decided to trouble me every 5 min…with simple complaints of patients like fever,not able sleep,hiccups,insulin dose( for which the instructions had already been written in the case sheets)..anyways..i was on duty,I had run for everycall…sometimes to the ground floor ,sometimes third floor( and the damn lift would * purposely* not function on such tiresome days)…I was exhausted and irritable by morning 5.30…then I decide to take some rest…I harldy closed my eyes and again the phone in the DMO room rang…I lifted it(had to)…only to be asked if it was canteen….”It’s the DMO room I shouted back!!”…finally I sat up giving up my wish to take some rest before the next day’s duty..took a book and stared reading...then I continued duty till 3pm as usual…

Saturday….there is patient(Congestive Cardiac Failiure) in MICU who doesn’t get satisfied unless and until the professor comes and sees him.When I went to the MICU he was feeling breathless…I asked the nurse to put the paitent in propped up position,give him Oxygen inhalation,and Nebulisation…The patient and his attenders started making a fuss that the professor hasn’t come since morning to see his condition(professor was really late that day to make his rounds)..ok…I ran up to call the professor…he came when he was done with his work…saw all the treatment I had given,said it right and instead of encouraging me said “what do u mean patients r calling for *bade doctors* ,u should be able to gain their confidence,this should happen again…I want u to be bold,,not nervous and shaky”…O GOD! Uhuhuhu !!

Then today….again I am upset thinking about someone close to me…this friend of mine is hurting himself simply ,again n again ,just trying to win love from a girl who does care much!!(she is a good girl ofcourse,but she has her own preferences)…I know he is mature and smart enough to decide what is good for him,I mean, I have no rights to interfere in his matters…but its paining me emmensely to see him getting turned off and hurt so often.!! Whats the point getting bruised , blistered and battered for a one sided affair..yaar!

I don’t know whats wrong…is something wrong with me,or situations r not just right now..Perhaps the thought that my mom dad r going for a looooooooong vacation is running too much on my mind!!or is it because 25th October is comming near.(the first time i heard "I LOVE U" in true sense...)Yess, 25th October ...but things r not the same...both have different paths and r happy n content with thier different routes...but its a memory... a *sweet memory*,that has made me emotional...

Best Moments In Life!!

2005-10-16T01:48:00.000-07:00

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing till your stomach hurts.
3. Enjoying a ride on wide roads with less traffic(especially when its drizzling!).
4. Listening to your favorite song ,in a quite warm cosy room,with eyes closed or with ur favourite book.
5. Going to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside.
6. Getting out of the shower and wrapping yourself with a warm, fuzzy
towel.
7. Passing your final exams with good grades.
8. Being part of an interesting conversation.
9. Finding some money in some old pants.
10. Laughing at yourself.
11. Sharing a wonderful dinner with all your friends.
12. Not being able to control smile ,remembering some joke ...when among strangers!
13. "Accidentally" hearing someone say something good about you.
14. Watching the sunset.
15. Listening to a song that reminds you of an important person in
your
life.
16. Receiving or giving your first kiss.
17. Feeling this movement in your body when seeing this "special"
someone.
18. Having a great time with your friends.
19. Seeing the one you love happy.
20. Wearing the shirt of a person you love and smelling his/her
perfume.
21. Visiting an old friend of yours and remembering great memories.
22. Hearing some telling you "I LOVE YOU"
23.Unexpected call from a close pal,when u r feeling blue:
True friends come in the good times when we tell them to, and come in
the bad times.....without calling."

Life with R....

2005-10-10T23:18:00.000-07:00

…..is a BLESSING!! *Touchwood*
He is soooo loving ,caring,understanding,patient,willing to hear when I talk endless nonsense,ready to forgive,ready to help,first one to support me in most of the things,putting me at ease,comforting me,and making m more confident...
What is he? Is he human…or my Guardian Angel !!
Whose prayers r these with me..? I wonder…I have done enough ‘wrongs’ to be blessed like this!! What more do I ask for??….just a baby dear God…PLEAAAAASE!!!
(has this become too personal…but then ,its my e-DAIRY na!!)

Gosh! This dreaaamm !

2005-10-06T16:42:00.000-07:00

I have to appear for my PLAB and DNB entrances by the middle of 2006.Since a week i haven’t touched my books, don’t know why but I was in a very “chalega” kinda mood.Day before yesterday my hubby made the payment and finaly I got registered for the PLAB (for working in UK) exam ..December 11th-DNB(Diplomate National Board) March 8th -PLAB and ….nahhh!!!!
I was sooo carefree till day before yesterday,I was giving my books only a few “touches and looks”,that too whenever I felt like(so that my books didn’t feel neglected..hehe!)…but wasnt doing serious study.
Yesterday the month of Ramzan started and I was so happy….saw the moon…smsed my bhaiya,cousins,friends,was enjoying…till midnight.Then my hubby came back from mosque(night prayers r longer in ramzan)…and searched all his old PLAB question papers,took out the oxford handbook of Internal Medicine..and handed them over to me…saying “try to be thorough in these,read up every line from this book(oxford)”.Then he said good night,lights switched off and my eyes WIDE OPEN.!
I then got up and glanced through the index of the Oxford in the dim light…
Anxiety and panic filled me and I lay apprehensive,mentally preparing a timetable for the coming few months(as if I ever went by the timetables I made).,I don’t remember when the shutters of my eyes fell, putting me to a disturbed sleep.
And like topping of a chocolate cake…to make my night worse I had this dream.
DREAM-->I saw myself taking the marks sheet of PLAB,the maximum marks were 50…and I got 41. In my dream I saw myself planning that I will manipulate the 41 to 47 before the professor makes the final marks list (this was the result of the marks sheet we had made for the final year students in our college few dys back)…any ways..when the professor,was taking the marks as I had planned I told him I got 47 ,but suddenly the person sitting next to me(my cousin,in my dream)…starts shouting that “A” has given wrong marks….And then I saw that a court case is booked against me.And the trial would be after two days…..
Goddd!!!!!! those two days in my dream,I saw myself making every possible effort to manipulate(haha!!) and every time I was near a successful manipulation,the professors detectives would come and stand in front of me(ha!ha!)…and I saw myself running on the compound wall of my dads home ,peeping through the neighbours window to see if I have a place to hide in their house..!!! I was just running from place to place,trying to make 41 into 47…THEN……trrrrrrr…..Alarm…4.30 am(Ramzan na).
I saw my hubby sleeping peacefully,then came back to senses…..haaan!that was a dream….PLAB is in March,this is October.I thanked God…slept again for a lil while before finaly geting up.
In the morning I analysed my dream….What a dream!..first of all plab is an entrance exam so it doesn’t have maximum marks…its like,, u qualify or u don’t qualify.Then my cousin(who I saw letting out my secret)is not a Medico…so what would she be doing there….and then why will my indian professor come for making PLAB(uk) entrance mark sheet.)….it was a silly dream…but IT SURE GAVE me goose pimples!!!!! Hehhehe!!”

Is that what someone meant, when they said “JARGON”?? hehe!!

Meeeooowwww!!!!!!! Meeooowww!!!!!!

2005-10-01T23:06:00.000-07:00

CUTE NAA !!?? but still cant say that i developed a liking for CATS after seeing this pic!

THE GIRL NEXT DOOR!!

2005-09-29T16:19:00.000-07:00

We had to attend a wedding yesterday.We were invited from the brides side.I personally didn’t know anyone,just knew that bride was our nieghbours daughter(I still didn’t become soo friendly with my inlaws neightbourhood!).
Since morning I had been noticing that hubby dear was being extra-cautious about how I would dress up in the evening.He asked me several times what I had decided to wear.Finally we decided that I would wear a ghagra-choli(simple,decent,slightly difficult to carry but elegant).In the evening again when I was selecting my lipstick n other accessories ,my husband suddenly said…’that shade of lipstick doesn’t match,see for another’ and mumbled ‘u have to look your best today’…I was startled at this(not that he doesn’t give me tips on dressing,but he never comments on things I choose and is never adamant)..
Ok…anyways,when he gave a final ‘YES’ nod to my looks,we went to the function hall.
It was all going on fine,I had dinner with few other friends.Then the girls mom introduced me to few ladies(the brides cousins and aunts).I was then surprised ,cuz when ever I happened to glance this group of ladies,I found that they were staring at me,as if inspecting me from all directions.This was quite annoying,and made me feel very self-conscious and forced me to wonder if I was looking weird or was something ridiculously wrong with me…I couldn’t guess .!
We returned home(by that time I was totally enraged) and as soon as we entered I started grumbling and complained to my hubby ,that I was feeling very awkward and out of place because of the SUDDEN UNEXPECTED AND MOST UNWANTED INSPECTION AND SCRUTINY I had to face …
Hubby started laughing ,asked me to calm down and said that he had intuition something like this would happen.He then told me they(the bride’s people)had sent a proposal for my husband,and wanted their daughter to be married to him,..but cuz my hubby had already told about his choice( that’s a proud ME) to his parents it didn’t work up.Nowww….i understood that the group of ladies as probably inspecting me to find out “Ismay aisa kya hai jo hamari ladhki may nahi(what is so special about her)”..

I asked my hubby (excited) what was special,and he said…”if I had seen her before I saw u ,I woulnt have proposed u”(winking and and giving a crooked,notorious smile)..I pretended to be angry with him for while,before we had a good laugh!!!

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER…

2005-09-22T07:39:00.000-07:00

Too often we don’t realise
What we have,until its gone,
Too oftern we wait to late to say,
“I am sorry- I was wrong”..

Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones we hold
Dearest to our hearts.
And we allow foolish things to
Tear our lives apart..
Far too many times we let unimportant things,into our mind,
And then its usually too late to see what made us blind..

So be sure that you let people know ,
How much they mean to you,
Take that time to say the words before,
Your time is through..
Be sure you appreciate everything got,
And be thankful for the little things in life,
That to u mean a lot..

2005-09-16T14:39:00.000-07:00

I dont know what i want to write here today...just wanna say...i am in a very off mood today...its 3 am ...still not able to sleep....my mind is working,non stop,and i dont know what is going on in it...hah!!!!!

here's my list..:

2005-09-14T00:25:00.000-07:00

7 things u want to do before u die….

1)Go for a world tour,with my hubby
2)Be a mother..
3)Meet every need of my husband….haha!…..i want him to depend totally on me f
for all his needs
4)Do justice to my profession…I want t be a verrrrrry good doctor
5)Meet M atleast for a second…infact see him face to face atleast once…
6)Peform Hajj(holy pilgrimage of muslims) ,Know the meaning of Quran( though I recite
it ,I understand only a few things)
7)Learn swimming.

7 things u can do:

1)love senselessly
2)be a very good friend.
3)handle situations more than I think I can!
4)wake up each day and tell myself…”that life is great,make the best of it”
5)make a crying baby quite….i can deviate them very easily
6)make someone believe that-“ things don’t get better by worrying about them.The
best thing is to do ur best and have faith in God”…..so it not good to be down.
7)any amount of sleep,day dream…..and laze around

7 things u cant do:

1)hurt others purposely
2)tell lies to my mom and hubby
3)stop myself from thinking about M atleast once everyday…(and I hate myself
for this)
4)hide my emotions…(if iam angry,iam /if iam happy,iam /if iam in love ,I
am/ifam hurt,I am,my eyes get filled automatically,and the lump in my throat
doesn’t permit me to be normal…I CANT HIDE MY FEELINGS!
5)stop myself from buying more than I intent to if I go for shopping
6)use an unclean and stinky washroom
7)develop a liking for cats and dogs…just cant

7 things u find attractive in opposite sex:

1)Command, ability to organize things,Dignity
2)Intelligence,
3) smartness,spontaneity(should be able to sort out things,)
4)Sense of humour…(should be able to enjoy what ever life gives,and not wait
for only big things to happen and bring a smile on his face)
5)Broad shoulders,Hairy chest(not too much hair,but hair has to be their.),intense
and passionate eyes(to send a current through my spine..haha!!)
6)Should smell good
7)Sincerity,ease,manners,respect for others.

7 things u say most:

1)Mammu,sweetu,jaan meri
2)mithu
3)acchaaji…aur kuchhh!
4)uhmm…hmm…yea
5)okkkk
6)nah!…nahi karo
7)its like…(u can see my previous post also ,how often I use it)

7 celebrity crushes:

1)Tom Cruise.
2)Brad Pitt.
3)Hugh Grant.
4)Rajiv Gandhi.
5)Rahul Dravid
6)Sonu Nigam
7)Prince Willaims.

7 people u want to take this quiz:

1)The one who tagged me!!..my new friend.(though I know she has already given
her list)
2)my hubby R
3)M –hmm…friend(I know I cant tell him about this…we r not in touch…he
doesn’t write a blog……and he DOESN’T know tht I have started writing here)
4)Nikita-friend
5)Bhavna-friend
6)Rahul/Sparsh.-friend
7)Siddu-my cousin

10 reasons why one must work...

2005-09-10T11:36:00.000-07:00

1)Its great to know that u are capable of putting a roof over your head.

2)Financial independence….no more asking money for minor things.

3)U can buy anyyything u like(and ofcourse afford).No matter how indulgent parents n spouses are they sometimes don’t seem to understand why u have to spend thousands of rupees for a pair of heels…haha!

4)Confidence-the very feeling that u r a part of the organization shows you that you are capable..

5)Exposure-You get to meet some really powerful tycoons,intellectuals,politicians etc through your work….even if u r a teacher u might be teaching Shahrukh Khan’s son..doc might treat many VIPs..u learn how to mingle around with different kinds of personalities..

6)Doing something constructive in life…..being idle is very uncoool

7)Power- the more successful your organization the more clout you get outside…Its like she is a doc from so n so hospital…

8)To be at peace with oneself…..work place can do wonders to bring u out of any depressions,sorrows etc…..collegues can give you a change of mood

9)helps develop individuality,self reliance……n

10)SELF RESPECT…

haa…..Thank God am woking

2005-09-09T07:31:00.000-07:00

One of R’s cousin ,almost of his age has come to India ..,he has done his BDS and is working abroad.His parents r searching a bride for him since a long time(even before my marriage)….but he doesn’t seem to like any girl,and had been rejecting all the proposals till now,,everybody was getting irritated by his irrational behaviour..,it seemd to everyone that “may be he thinks himself too smart and so feels no girl is a suitable match for him…
But he has a problem…..
Yesterday he confided in R and told him that he loves a girl (also a BDS) at his work place…he loves a lot,cannot think of any other girl …AND …. that girl is a divorcee
He said he had seen her getting married and also seen her mirage breaking…he always felt that she was innocent and had a soft corner for her….this soft corner slowly developed into love for her….Now..his parents a dead against his relation with this girl,and r searching for girl elsewhere…he tried to convince then in every possible manner,but they don’t understand his emotions and feelings for her…
I wonder people in this era can be so narrow minded…how can they be so cruel?Why should they oppose their sons wish to marry a divorcee? Just the fact that she is a divorcee cannot deprive her from love again in her life…Why will the society have objections if a person is trying to give a better life to a poor girl????

2005-09-02T22:51:00.000-07:00

Had night duty day before yesterday,continued duty till afternoon yesterday.....it was tiring.But today i have post duty off.......thinking how to trouble my hubby........hahaha.
Got up at 10 in the morning,saw what the cook made,didnt like it,made some sandwitch.....reading newspaper ate that.....then took a sip of tea from my hubby cup...
now he is studying some medical journal and iam doing time pass.....
hmmmmmmm.......this one is goood....

ONLY TAKES MINUTE

It only takes a minute,
To say a word of cheer.

It only tkes a minute,
To dry a falling tear.

It only takes a minute,
To lend a helping hand.

It only takes a minute,
To try to understand.

It only takes a minute,
To make and keep a friend,
Some broken heart to mend.

It only takes a minute,
To brighten someones day,

Then use this every minute,
Before it slips away....

Nice!!!!! but after reading this wonder if i should be doing more timepaas or sit with my hubby to read the journal!!!!!!haha.......

Funny Forward!!

2005-08-30T08:04:00.000-07:00

A Bihar school master writes.....Enjoy!!!!

it is absolutely PHANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

School Master from a remote rural area of Bihar was transferred to anew School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after the actualdate of joining. onsequently he was asked for an explanation inwriting . . .
Deer sur,
If small small mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon,ass I am not a good englis speaker.This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to jointyour school more fastly, but for the following reajon, too much timelost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. Itolded I has head ache problem due to migration. Still the clerkrejected to give ticket to I and my sun. I putted a complain onstation masterji. He said I to! go to the lady clerk.At first she also rejected. I then pressed for long time and finallywith great difficulty she gave a birth to my sun. Anyway I thankedthe station master also because he was phully responsible for gettingbirth of my sun.Ass a hole it was a bhery diphicult experiment in my hole life.I hope u will look into explain my hole story after, and late mejoint first. I am now ending this fastly. I am a waiter for yourresponsement.May God blast you!"
Yours awfully,
RAMKHILAWAN YADAV

Zindagi may koi kabhi aai na rabba...

2005-08-22T01:40:00.000-07:00

http://www.raaga.com/channels/hindi/movie/H000745.html......zindagi may koi kabhi aai na rabba by Sukhwinder Singh
(or)
http://as01.coolgoose.com/music/song.php?id=182503

Never There...Hoobastank

2005-08-15T03:33:00.000-07:00

i'm filling up inside like i need to open wide and pour my heart out to you but i'll just get denied and all i wanted was someone to hear what i'm going though...

evertime that i need you around you're never there, you're never therebecause in my life is where i need you now but you're never there, you're never there

you were supposed to see all the signs i left read in front of your faceyou were supposed to be the closest thing to being me but you're the furthest away.away.thats because........

and i doubt that i will ever find out if there's a way to get out of feelingall alone'cause lately i've been thinking maybe that no one's going to save mei'll do it on my own..........

AF space.

2005-08-15T00:33:00.000-07:00

I was in search of a place to put my thoughts,emotions,feelings etc......i think i got my space now.Yes i've started writing a blog.....i used to write a dairy since i ws in school........now i think i will be writing here.i have many pent up emotions inside me.......thats y i think ive started wrting here,i have reasons....will write abt it soon.....bye for now!